Justin's Life... August 1997


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August 5, 1997

1:28PM

Well, it doesn't look like I'm ever going to get this diary entry about the wedding finished, so here goes: I'm not stopping 'til it's done.

When we last left the adventures of Justin Clouse, it was the day of his high school friend Amanda's wedding...

During the day of the wedding...

Mike called the house around 11AM to see if I had a ride. I did, but it was a koool gesture.

Before Larry dropped me off at the church, we went to Wal-Mart where I bought black socks, a t-shirt, and "car decorating materials." Later in the day I found out that Amanda was taking her Dad's car that night and did not want anything to happen to it. Before the day was over, though, her car was found at the hotel where the reception was occurring and I decorated it with shoe polish and tape.
When I arrived at the church, only the other groomsman Michael was there. Before long, though, Michael the groom and his uncle, the best man, arrived. As the plan was to get dressed at the church, all four of the guys went into one of the back rooms. The four of us yaked while changing into tuxedos and I have to admit I was wondering if Michael (the groom) was going to do something crazy because he knew I was gay. I mean, he'd been koool in all other aspects, but I knew he hadn't always been so "gay friendly" and him being in the same room as me in his underwear was when his true feelings would be shown... he changed into his tuxedo with his blue briefs in full view.
I was the unofficial pre- and post-wedding photographer. I took photos of everything from Amanda arriving at the church to her getting dressed to both Michael waiting and Amanda anticipating.
At around 2PM, the pastor said "We're going to start in eight minutes." I relayed the message to the others then began with the proceeding. I walked synchronously with Michael to light the candles, then each of us sat a grandmother. When that was done, I walked Amanda's mom to the front of the church where she lit the unity candle, then seated her near the front. From there, I hurried back around the back corridors of the church in order ot meet with the other guys.
When the music reached the appropriate point, the four of us went out to stand at the front of the church. Each of the bridesmaids walked out and I smilied glossily at them, just as I'd been told. Before long, though, Amanda was walking down the aisle with her Dad and the traditional "Here Comes The Bride" was playing. I got goose bumps pretty much all over. I was really happy for her.
After the pastor asked "Who gives this woman in marriage?", the wedding party proceeded onto the "stage". During the pastor's monologue and vow exchanging which followed, I got misty eyed a little, but no where near crying. Once the vows were done, Michael and Amanda lit the unity candle then moved back into the center of the stage. As Amanda's cousin sang "Amazing Grace" the two of them stood, looking at each other, holding hands... and then Amanda looked at me. Her eyes were filling up and when I saw that, I just lost it. I boo'hooed... hard. I tried stopping it, but I couldn't. I even made that ugly crying face, you know, where my lips were all curled in a huge frown. When I finally started breathing again, I couldn't figure out which would be more appropriate, to wipe my face or to keep my hands right over left. I wiped once then put my hands back in front of me. Amanda looked at me and mouthed, "I love you." She'd said that before, but as always, I was hesitant to say it back. This time, though, I mouthed "I love you, too" without thinking twice. -- I'm sure the people that assumed I'm straight were were probably a little curious.
After the wedding, practically everyone said that I'd made them cry. Amanda's dad said, "I was fine until I saw you." The bridesmaids and her sister said the same thing. Not only was I the biggest cryer, which was embarassing enough, I was also the crying scapegoat.
Also just after the wedding, when Amanda and I were talking about the crying, I kissed her. A few seconds later, I kissed Michael, too.
Once the picture taking in the church was done, everyone headed to the Holiday Inn for the reception. It lasted a few hours then when I told Amanda that I wouldn't see her again before heading to LA, she insisted that I come by the house to say goodbye properly. Amanda and Mike went out to their decorated car and drove off.
When Larry and I made it back to my house a little later, Mom said that both Amanda and Mike each had called. When we did get to Amanda's parents' house, they were there waiting for me to arrive so I could write down the present list. I wrote it down in journal form, recording comments made by the audience and adding my own. (I don't remember the specifics, but she got a glass figurine of a bear bride and groom. When she was telling the audience exactly what it was, someway or the other, she said "a bride, and a groom, and a bride" In my notes, I wrote how it should have been two grooms and one bride. When she read the list to everyone once they were done, it got quite a laugh.)
At a little after 8:30PM, I said that we had to get going because Mom and Dad were waiting at home. Amanda and Mike walked us to the porch then I gave them each a kiss on the cheek.
When I tried to go to sleep later that night, I was missing Amanda and Michael pretty hard. For the past four days, I was the guest of honor. I had friends, koool friends, and for all LA possessed, it still missed that. To be honest, I wished I was there with them on their wedding night.

August 19, 1997

2:25PM

It's been a while since I last wrote here... and a lot has happened. That said, yesterday and today I put together a little newsletter to send to people from back home in Kentucky. Here it is: HTML-ized.

The Justin Update Issue #3 August 18, 1997

Hey Guys… Most of you probably don’t remember The Justin Update Issues #1 or #2, but that’s OK: Both of them occurred over a year ago. As such, a little primer on what’s here… basically just stuff about what’s been happening in my life lately…
Las Vegas Postcard
The most recent thing that’s happened to me has been a trip to Las Vegas, which ended this past Sunday. After leaving Friday morning, Larry and I arrived in Vegas around 1PM and began gambling shortly after getting to the hotel. By the end of the first day, I’d turned $20 into $150… and managed to walk away with it. Also on Friday, Larry and I checked out the IMAX 3D movie Into The Deep. Through infrared controlled glasses, two polarized images are coordinated on one screen and each eye is simultaneously covered with a black screen. (You know, sorta like when you set the display of a graphing calculator too dark… but going clear to dark at 30 times per second). By Saturday, I was desperate to keep the $$ I’d won. Yet, by the time I’d spent over three hours at the $2 table, I’d lost the original $100. (That said, the $2 table was the most fun of the trip. The other players included a retired Oklahoma school teacher, who sounded just like Reba & who had more one liners than a joke book.)
Anyway, by Sunday morning, I’d had enough gambling. I spent $10 at the arcade then went back to the room. After a few minutes alone there, though, I went back down to the casino… and lost it all in under ten minutes. Oh well, Larry'd said my allotment was to lose $100/day and I only lost $120 for the whole trip.
Hollywood Squares Is Back - Need Contestants
The week before we left for Vegas, I tried out for the Hollywood Squares. I’d been looking at the LA Times regular classifieds section "TV Contestants" for a while and hadn’t seen anything for which I applied, but the Hollywood Squares was basically Tic-Tac-Toe, I could do that. Anyway, I called and arranged an interview for Friday, August 8th at 11AM. After fretting for days about what clothes and which tie I’d wear, --I actually bought two… one with the American Gothic scene on it, which I thought was both playful and mature, and another that was a metallic blue that changed colors in different light -- I managed to pick an outfit that was pretty sedate… with one of Larry’s expensive boring ties.
Anyway, I made it the building where the interviews were to occur then found the appropriate room. By the time 11AM rolled around, the room was full of 20 other interviewees of every ethnicity and age. And these people all had one thing in common, they were hams. When Fern, the interviewer, introduced herself, the group’s almost-coordinated response was "Hi Fern" in a loud, we’re so happy we should really be auditioning for Barney voice. When she asked how many people had been on a game show before, nearly half raised their hands. And I thought I was a camera hog. Yet, the ratio of men to women was low and I was the youngest person in the room... at least I had something going for me.
And so, after a little talk about the show from Fern, we took a written test. The questions ranged from "In Sweden, Rice Krispies go Pif, Paf, and Poof?" to "An

avid golfer would use a niblick?" For most, I had absolutely no idea. They sounded logical. I mean, after all, Snap, Crackle, and Pop are English words.
When Fern came back from grading the test, I was sure I’d be one of the ones she said good-bye to, but somehow or the other, she called my name to stay. I was amazed.
Of course, my thrill at being chosen to stay was soon killed by the fact that I was one of the first two contestants to go play the mock game in the front of the room. I hadn’t thought of any great hobbies when I’d filled out the form and hadn’t thought far enough ahead to think of any before the actual tryout. And the girl who was the other contestant blew me away. She talked about her wonderful four pet chickens and rattled off their incredible names: It got quite a laugh. When it was my turn, I completely froze. I said that I was originally from Richmond Kentucky and now attend the University of Southern California. The host asked me what I was studying: I answered communications. He asked me if that was television/film/etc. and I answered "Yes" To make matters worse, I lost the game O,O,O. I sucked at playing and I wasn’t camera-friendly. Yet I thought I was going to get a chance to redeem myself. The number of people left for the mock game was odd. They needed another contestant to play against the last person and Fern chose me. I thought of something brilliant to say about how I’d been on a game show earlier in the day and completely froze from fright… but I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself. I was there just to play the game… yet I did win that time, for what it matters.
Before we left, Fern said that they’d call whomever they were planning on using for the pilot by Friday. (Turns out, they’re just taping for a pilot: 8 contestants total.) Needless to say, I didn’t get a call… but it was a koool, learning experience.
Justin And Jeff
Two weeks ago tomorrow, I met a random Justin’s Koool Page fan. The week before, I’d met another guy who subjected his e-mail "The Red Head From Ohio" The first guy pretty much disappeared into the ether, but the second guy who didn’t even mention that he had auburn hair, Jeff (whose picture you see above) has pretty much been hanging out with me non-stop. We checked out Picture Perfect at CityWalk and last night Larry, Jeff, and I went to the Price Club and video store. We rented the Scream laserdisc and listened to the director’s and writer’s audio track as it played.
Fall 97 Class Schedule
Of course, I couldn’t be having too much fun… school starts a week from tomorrow. You can see my schedule from above, but you may not be able to tell that the classes start at 10AM and go all the way to 9:30PM. I think I may be dropping the one on Thursday afternoon. (I’ve got no Friday classes)

August 21, 1997

7:04PM

This morning I went to the dentist. I originally had an appointment scheduled in July, but cancelled it because we'd just gotten back from Hawaii and, well, because I really just don't like going to the dentist.

Anyway, this morning I went to the dentist and had my teeth cleaned and a cavity filled. During the visit, as the dentist was telling me about my need to brush more vigorously in one area, how I needed to start taking Vitamin C, how I needed to use floride, and how I needed to cut down on my Pepsi consumption, I had to wonder if everyone feels like they're being picked on at the dentist's office. At my first visit there, I could only compare the Dr. with Steve Martin's character in Little Shop Of Horrors. He wasn't quite as painful physically this time, but I still had to wonder if he got some tiny rush knowing that his teeth were better than nearly all his clients.

Anyway, just a random thought...

Click here to move on to the next set of entries.

Issue #3 August 18, 1997
Hey Guys… Most of you probably don’t remember The Justin Update Issues #1 or #2, but that’s OK: Both of them occurred over a year ago. As such, a little primer on what’s here… basically just stuff about what’s been happening in my life lately… The most recent thing that’s happened to me has been a trip to Las Vegas, which ended this past Sunday. After leaving Friday morning, Larry and I arrived in Vegas around 1PM and began gambling shortly after getting to the hotel. By the end of the first day, I’d turned $20 into $150… and managed to walk away with it. Also on Friday, Larry and I checked out the IMAX 3D movie Into The Deep. Through infrared controlled glasses, two polarized images are coordinated on one screen and each eye is simultaneously covered with a black screen. (You know, sorta like when you set the display of a graphing calculator too dark… but going clear to dark at 30 times per second). By Saturday, I was	desperate to keep the $$ I’d won. Yet, by the time I’d spent over three hours at the $2 table, I’d lost the original $100. (That said, the $2 table was the most fun of the trip. The other players included a retired Oklahoma school teacher, who sounded just like Reba & who had more one liners than a joke book.) Anyway, by Sunday morning, I’d had enough gambling. I spent $10 at the arcade then went back to the room. After a few minutes alone there, though, I went back down to the casino… and lost it all in under ten minutes. Oh well, Larry'd said my allotment was to lose $100/day and I only lost $120 for the whole trip. The week before we left for Vegas, I tried out for the Hollywood Squares. I’d been looking at the LA Times regular classifieds section "TV Contestants" for a while and hadn’t seen anything for which I applied, but the Hollywood Squares was basically Tic-Tac-Toe, I could do that. Anyway, I called and arranged an interview for Friday, August 8th at 11AM. After	fretting for days about what clothes and which tie I’d wear, --I actually bought two… one with the American Gothic scene on it, which I thought was both playful and mature, and another that was a metallic blue that changed colors in different light -- I managed to pick an outfit that was pretty sedate… with one of Larry’s expensive boring ties. Anyway, I made it the building where the interviews were to occur then found the appropriate room. By the time 11AM rolled around, the room was full of 20 other interviewees of every ethnicity and age. And these people all had one thing in common, they were hams. When Fern, the interviewer, introduced herself, the group’s almost-coordinated response was "Hi Fern" in a loud, we’re so happy we should really be auditioning for Barney voice. When she asked how many people had been on a game show before, nearly half raised their hands. And I thought I was a camera hog. Yet, the ratio of men to women was low and I was the youngest person in the room... at least I had something going for me. And so, after a little talk about the show from Fern, we took a written test. The questions ranged from "In Sweden, Rice Krispies go Pif, Paf, and Poof?" to "An