12:30PM Based on Notes Taken
I was browsing through the internet and decided to read alittle about what you had done in your life lately...well, the truth is I have been thinking about you alot lately, and I've decided that my decision to write you off was a terrible one. It's been quite a while hasn't it? I'm not going to sit and compose a big apology however sorry I am, I'm not big on apologies, I like to hope that is suffices to say that I am just really sorry. I've missed your voice, and your pictures, and your letters...just everything.
I read that you are moving, or have already moved to L.A.? I am happy that you are alot closer to me, but you probably haven't even thought about that, have you? As a matter of fact though, I will more than likely be attending college in L.A. within the coming year for school. It was a big decision, but now that it is made, I think that life will go alot smoother for me.
There is just one more decision for me to make, what to do with the other part of me that I thought I could just forget about. I've decided that I will not be forgetting about it any more, and the sooner that I get to L.A. the sooner I will be more comfortable about it.
Well, I've already written more than I had planned. I miss you Justin...I really do. I have missed you for the passed year. I would like to be your friend again, I could use your help and advice. Take care
Sean
I'm sorry if I am flooding your mail box with messages, but I haven't been able to stop thinking of you today. I just refreshed my memory of what you look like and I have those same intense feelings for you again...I just NEED to hear your voice....I wonder if you hate me now, or if you will ever be able to forgive me for being so insensitive? I am so worried about it that I get butterflies in my stomache....
I went back and read your diary back when I was writing and calling you so much....I can't believe I was such a fool to break it off. I was selfish, and immature. I have to tell you that I am not out yet...the key word being YET.....but I feel that it is getting easier for me to be alittle more open about it to select people. I am no longer a member of my church...by my own choice for the most part...I still believe in it...in most of the teachings that is....but I can't be a member and gay too...atleast that's what they tell me.....I wish you could get on your computer during your trip so you could reply to me, so you could maybe stop and say hello...so I could hug you and meet you in person, face to face...I miss you so much Justin, atleast I miss the idea of you. Tall dark and handsome, careing, generous..did I spell that right?..great voice, did I mention handsome? I have to go now. Please forgive me.
Sean
I just wanted to leave you my phone number..just in case..
801-###-####...please call me if you want, or if you want to drop by on your way through to L.A. Sean
9:21PM Based on Notes Taken
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© 1996 Justin Clouse